I have always wanted to be in a book club, so when my Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist friends invited me into theirs, I said “Sure!” I mean, beggars can’t be choosers!
Our most recent read was “Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life,” by Emily Nagoski, PhD. I love this book. I love it so much, I read it on my kindle and then ordered a hard copy to read it some more.
In my physical therapy practice, I often hear women frustrated with their sex lives after breast cancer treatment. The most common advice given is “try lube!” or “expand your definition of sex!” both which sound reasonable in theory but seemed to be missing something. After reading this book, I get it. Nagoski explains just how complicated sexuality is: not only does it include anatomical parts, but also past experiences, family/media influences, and context. She so wisely points out how male sexuality is the standard that women are measured up against. Since we’re not actually men, we are doomed to fail. Even patriarchy affects sex!
Imagine you’ve gone through breast cancer treatment. Your relationship with your body has changed: for one thing, it looks different, and not in a way you chose. A major erogenous zone has been removed or at the very least significantly altered. Good chance you’re extra tired from treatment, and possibly even in menopause. Ok now go be sexy! Oh, you don’t feel like it? No problem, just add some lube! (SMH).
Sooo yeah, even though that’s an oversimplified example, hopefully you can follow my point. Point is you need this book. From page one Dr. Emily feels like your bff, and writes as if she is. This is especially impressive as at times she’s explaining complex neural pathway stuff. She uses case studies and plenty of analogies to make complicated info really relatable. Finally, just want to mention this book is not heteronormative, and a lot of the info applies to other, non-sexual aspects of life. You’ve got to read it. Better yet, get the book, let me know, and then we’ll form our own book club!
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