My Breastie Says… founder Jenni Rai finds out. I am moderately interested in make-up.
My daily routine includes enough concealer to differentiate me from a raccoon but I’ve been known to make an effort for a night out. But something about the Glossier ads bouncing through my Instagram feed peaked my interest. It seemed “no fuss” but it also seemed…very Gen Z. Like Kylie or Kendall were somehow behind it. Does this Gen Xer even want to look “dewy?” Doesn’t that mean greasy??
Curiosity got the best of me. Well that and convenience, as I happen to live very close to Glossier’s LA store. I stopped on a week day afternoon and there was a legit line, roped off and everything, to get in. Geez. Line moved fast, and soon I was inside the wall to wall Millenial Pink show room. The first thing I noticed was every other customer appeared to be 14 years old. Who knows, maybe they were just extra dewy 20 somethings, but I felt like a mom. To be clear, I don’t even have kids.
Part of my motivation to actually go to the store was to take full advantage of a professional Glossier make over. I would hurl myself up into a tall chair, try not to blink while becoming a low maintenance, snap chat filter version of myself. And then buy all of those exact products. Unfortunately, that’s not how it goes at Glossier. Instead, there were sales associates in cute pink jump suits holding iPads. It was all very DIY.
Left to my own devices, here’s what I bought:
- Cloud Paint (in Puff): Blush that comes in a tube. I LOVE this one! Dab a little on my cheeks in the morning and voila! I go from possibly undead to definitely living in a matter of seconds.
- Lidstar (in Moon): Eyeshadow that comes in a tube. I also LOVE this one! Its slightly shimmery and I can just sort of smear it across my eyelids, putting a little extra in corner of my eyes b/c I read that somewhere. Oh and I’ll also put some right under my brow bone b/c highlighting? I think.
- Generation G (in Poppy Red): This is a “lip color that gives the look and finish of just-blotted lipstick, without the blot.” Seemed easy. I should confess, I am just beginning to dabble with lipstick, still mostly self-conscious when I actually have it on. I liked the idea of this one, and in some way it works, as it looks sooo natural unclear if I’m actually wearing any.
- Milky Jelly Cleanser: This was a peer pressure purchase- the reviews were over the top glowing and I just fell for it. It’s a gentle facial cleanser and it smells nice. Imagine Cetaphil smelled gently flowery. I give it a solid “eh.”
- Priming Moisturizer: Love this idea! Have noticed when I actually use a primer my skin looks so much nicer, and the idea of 2 in 1 seemed so efficient! Typically, I have combination skin, so decided on the “regular” versus the “dry” skin version. Short answer: just no. It’s like any other day moisturizer without primer. My face in no way became a “dewy, smooth canvas.”
- Balm dotcom (in Birthday): They were running a special where it was more cost effective to buy the Cleanser, Moisturizer and this all in one, hence, this “universal skin salve” ended up in my cart. I immediately applied it to my very cracked and dry hands. It smelled Ah-mazing, but was super thick and greasy. Also sparkly. I mean, yeah my cuticles need moisture but do they really need a full on party? Seemed, as the kids say, “extra.” Talked to my friend Dawn and she also was not impressed with this product, for similar reasons. Turns out the joke was on us! It’s actually a lip balm. As a lip balm, I have no issues with it. As an overall product, I’m just mad at it.
After I chose my products the sales associated suggested I try out their “Secret Selfie room” while I waited for my products. Seriously?! This is a thing?! It sure is, and it’s called “Glossier Canyon” and you kinda feel like you’re in the bottom of the Grand Canyon, but closet sized. Oh and with a giant mirror in front of you.
Final Thoughts: I was impressed enough with their make-up that I would buy again in the future. I currently have my eye on the “Skywash,” which is a sheer matte eyeshadow (again in a tube). Not sure I’d bother with any more of their skin care line. Feeling like maybe my skin has aged out of “dewy.”
A note about pronunciation: if you read this as “Glossy, GLOSSIER, Glossiest,” then you and I are more alike than we even knew! Unfortunately, we are both wrong. It’s actually pronounced “Glossy-ay,” which reminds me of how we used to call Target “Tarzshay” when we were cool.
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